Ok, let's face it. In 15 minutes I'll face the second part of today's job.
Now it's 8pm o'clock, I've arrived here at 8am, so I've spent 12 hours working, and it was the first part of today's job. Now I'm exporting some video and audio material to start working the second part.
This week's been a hell on earth, yesterday I've quit working at 1 am, and slept something like 5 hours. And now I'm starting the second part of the work, that possibly will end just tomorrow morning, maybe at 6, or 7 am. So I'm already tired, just imagining this.
Now the computer's working, so I got a little time to think, read the news, drink some coffee (to keep awaken), but I wish I could sleep, and no, 15 or 20 minutes isn't enough for a good sleep, and tomorrow is the deadline of this work (it started 10 days earlier, and since them I've been working like the world's going to end tomorrow, something like 15 or 16 hours per day - including saturday and sunday, the whole day).
I'm tired of working with something that don't give me nothing beyond money. Just money, a little bit money (if it was something like 100 thousand dolars or something it could be just great). I feel I'm wasting my precious time when doing this kind of money, wasting my sanity, it's a great and awful waste.
Last 3 years I've spent tons of creativity making videos for industries, for business, and I've get really tired of this. I feel that if I continue doing this I won't get anywhere. There's no growing up doing this, there's no advancing of my name, my public personality, no nothing. Just money, and boredom, tiredness.
So I've changed my way of leading with works and clients, and now I'm following some concepts, choosing better. But sometimes I need to do some work that is very emotionally destroyer, like this one I'm doing just now. I'm broken emotionally, tired physically, with my eyes tired of being open all the time, and my brain is intoxicated with stress, lots of stress.
But I am fighting something I know I would need to. I'm becoming professional, pretty much more professional then what I was some time ago. I am facing everything I must face to go bigger, to go better and find something better.
But I still can complaint until my computer works and I need to wait.