8/16/2010

4 am

Well, fuck, it's 4 am and I'm still awake, and tomorrow will be a very long long day, working till the energy go away. And the good news is that I've lost my mobile last week and I don't have any alarm clock in my home, this desert, this arid and dusty place.

Just a glimpse of my life now. I'm living a very confuse, insane and irresponsible moment of my life. But at the same time it's the most important, adult, strong, and self determined moment. In a way I am behaving myself very well, not cheating my girl, working seriously, assuming a professional posture and focusing on what I believe, and believing in what I want and can do and be. But I see that I need to assume some different way of life. I need to start a healthy life, and it's a kind of strategy, to work better, to produce more, and be more efficient. And this is to compete better. So I need to stop drinking like an idiot, and doing drugs, and getting high like there's no tomorrow. Because now I've had a future to administrate. I must prepare myself to do things I am not sure I am able to do. So I'll need to be able. I'll need to get it all really serious and focused.

So now it's my turning point.

But at this exactly day I am without my cell phone, without any money, assuming very big debts and starting a new and very uncertain professional life. It's maybe not so uncertain because I really believe in myself, and I think I will go on and get everything I want.

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