9 months now

It's been 9 months and I still can't take her from my mind. That's sad. And recently I've started to call her again, to send messages and mails... she doesn't answer nothing. And she ignores me totally, even that we didn't fight or nothing, we just didn't talk anymore, for nothing.
I wonder what's been on her mind, how's her day by day, what she feels... but nothing, not a single word.
I know it's time to forget, to erase her from me, but I just can't do this. I can't stop thinking on her. Almost everyday I think about writing her, I think about what word should I put to her, what should I tell. But in the end I don't do nothing, and most of the time I think it's better like this. The last time we broke up I'd wrote a lot, begging and crawling, crying and suffering. She was cold as ice, but at the end we started again, till the last time, when I wen't to Cuba for 1 month. Then she totally desapear again, but this time I thought I shouldn't go through this humiliation, I thought I should wait till she calls me and thinks better. But she didn't.
And so now I am sad and abandoned. For 9 months.
Shit. Why do I love her so fucking much?

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