Thinking on how to do it, how to stand up and walk along the way, to look forward and to be where I want.
I guess the most important thing for me to do now is to find a way to be fine with everything I have, to find some balance between what I am and what I want to be. To find a balance with the money I own and the money I spend.
Must find a balance in my sentimental life. At least I have one. I remember the time when I was totally disillusioned and empty, with my heart empty. Now it's full. The matter is that is way up full, it's overflowing, and lost. I have strong and deep feelings waving over my heart and my head, annoying me, making me sad and lost, don't know what to do for the next hour, next day, next week.
Now I'm just writing to put it all outside, to throw this feeling away, to rethink and try to find some path to go.
There's one thing that I need to change. The way I think, the things I put in my head. I know it's all wrong.
I am an obsessed guy, with lots of obsessions and repeated thinking. I think about Erica all the time, for example, and Flávia, and some others. That's a love and sex obsession, and I trying to get rid of all this behavior. I've decided that I'll put everything I really need in my head. To think straight and to find solutions for real problems and not waste more time thinking on what I don't need. But it's not easy.